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Everybody has bad days

Having a bad day

Let it happen. That is my advice. Don’t resist. Just let what is, be.

Since I was twelve years old, I have had severe issues with my cycle. It was the type of thing that would keep me out of school for days at a time because it would be so painful and so heavy. Being diagnosed with PCOS has really only helped to pinpoint why it is that I have these struggles, there really aren’t very many treatment options available.

 I also had other issues around my cycle. I would not get it for months and months and when I would get it, it would come for prolonged periods (I once had my period for over 2 months).  Also, I struggled emotionally for weeks due to my cycle. The entire week before has always been difficult in ways that many women do not experience. It is PMS turbocharged. I feel extremely depressed, irritable, and out of control of my emotions. 

I went to my gyno with these concerns a few months ago after pinpointing a major depressive episode of mine to one of these PMS episodes. She diagnosed me with PMDD- premenstrual dysphoric disorder. The treatment for this is normally a form of birth control in conjunction with taking an antidepressant during the week before a cycle is to come or taking it continuously throughout the month as a preventative measure. The big problem with that is that I have bipolar disorder and many antidepressants can spark manic episodes. So, my doc and I decided to opt for birth control, with which I would only have to experience my cycle every 3 months. It has helped so much. The birth control along with a new mood stabilizer that I am on have worked wonders.

Until today. I can feel an actual drop in my mood. I am tired, sad, had a hard time getting out of bed, no appetite, irritable. I know that all of these symptoms are related to the PMDD, but coping with them is still difficult. It is also my fear every time that I experience one of these drops that I will never be able to climb out of it. Anyone who suffers from depression knows how extremely difficult it can be to recover. It is my fear that this bad day will turn into a bad week or even month.

With that being said, my first urge was to resist the drop in mood. All that did was add anxiety to the mix. So here I am, midday, deciding to just give my shitty day its place. I’m going to let myself have the irritability and the sadness. I’m going to get into my soft pj bottoms, my favorite sweatshirt and I am going to let myself have this day to feel what I need to feel. I’m going to put myself above the rest of the world for a day. And I’m not going to try to get rid of these feelings. I’m going to sit on my couch with my feelings next to me, I’m going to drink my favorite tea, and I’m going to Youtube my day away. Because that is what I need. 

If you are having a similarly shitty day, I hope you will take the time to care for you. Here are some ways you can do that:

1. Snug up with your favorite book or movie.
      2. Enjoy a cup of hot cocoa or warm tea. Really enjoy it. The taste, the sensation of warmth in your throat, the smell of the drink.
3    3. Take a warm bath with Epsom salt. This is my favorite thing to do to care for myself and I will probably end up doing this one today.
      4 . Eat something nourishing like soup or salad.
      5. Mindfully partake in your favorite mindless activity. This is the Youtube thing for me. I could troll Youtube for hours mindlessly.   Today I am making the choice to watch my favorite Youtubers for hours.
      6.  Meditate. Getting in touch with your center is always a great way     to care for you.  
      7.Vent it out. Get on the phone or better yet, meet up with your trustworthy pal or family and let it all out. 

Let me know in the comments what you love to do when you are having a bad day! Also, let me know if you decide to try out one of my ideas. I truly hope this helps!

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As always with love,
Alli B
Sonny B
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Alli B is the voice behind She is a self-defined weird (queer) black woman who is a survivor of mental illness and childhood sexual trauma. She is a lover of people and a lover of God. Alli’s mission in life is to empower and inspire those who have gone through or who are going through any type of darkness. Her loves are her family, books, writing, movies, and football (Go Broncos!). The boring stuff: Alli received her Bachelor’s degree in Human Development and Family Studies at Colorado State University in 2013. She is now working on her Master’s degree in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology and is expected to graduate in May of 2018. Alli's goal is to work with underserved populations of women and children through private practice. Her life goals include: running a successful blog, publishing her books, and becoming a successful therapist.

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